The Mumbai Local As We Know It
That moment of silence just as the 8.54 Churchgate bound train pulls into Mira Road station. The calm before the storm. The train slows down. AAAND THIS IS WAR! Having already missed FOUR trains, I steel myself and join in the fray. “PUSH! PUSH! PUSH HARDER!” I yell desperately as I'm struggling to get a foothold. I'll admit that I'm just not cut out to ‘hang out’ à la Mumbai. I deem my position too dangerous. Now it's a battle for survival. Then, I proceed to literally HUMP the guy ahead of me! Urging him to move inside an already over-over crowded train. Abuses, curses and expletives are being hurled at me by him. I'm far too used to this so I simply ignore him. Next, the train arrives at Dahisar station. More crowd barges in. And an even more awkward rendition of "I'm sexy and I know it" dance/hump. One guy goes "Bharat maata ki... JAI" "Apne apne maata pita ki... JAI!" Then, another one joins in with ...